Funniest Spam Mail

photo-1466921583968-f07aa80c526e

We receive spam mail every day, but most of us don’t read it, nor should we. It’s the bane of our digital existence. With that in mind, I decided to turn something we loathe receiving into something we love reading. I scoured the Internet in search of some of the funniest, work appropriate, spam messages. Here are my top 5 excerpts:

  1. “HI
    Plese read this is not spaM:…” –BlameItOnTheVoices.com

    I, too, begin all of my professional emails with “HI, this isn’t spaM.” It seems to do the trick.

  2. “My name is Mr. Munny Sopheap, the branch Manager of Top bank in Cambodia…” –Smosh.com

    Mr. Munny works at a “Top” bank? Who would have guessed? This seems legitimate. I once had an English teacher in grade school whose name was Mr. English, so it’s not out of the realm of possibilities.

  3. “A tape recorder seeks a sandwich. When you see the ski lodge, it means that the tattered customer goes to sleep.” –antespam.co.uk

    This person either has word salad or someone accidentally received a coded message from the government. I repeat, the tape recorder seeks a sandwich. Over.

  4. Subject line “Chris is dead, Job for you!” –Lifehacker.com

    I’ve heard stories of New Yorkers keeping a watchful eye on the obituary section of newspapers for potential apartment openings, but this takes it to a whole new level. It begs the question “what, exactly, was Chris’s job?”

  5. “If you are a time traveler or alien disguised as human and or have the technology to travel physically through time I need your help!” –Geekpreneur.com

    What’s the best way to find a time traveler? Mass email, obviously. I’m actually more interested in the responses this person received. He probably should have started by reaching out to Scott Bakula or Michael J. Fox. Terminators and other malicious time traveling life forms need not apply “Please do not reply if your an evil alien!”

{ 4 comments… add one }

  • Joseph Peterson July 1, 2016, 7:04 pm

    Every parent has a favorite child. That inbox may be full of earnest, honest, hard-working sales pitches; but our spam folder is way more fun. Like any prodigal son …

    Reply
  • Edward Zeiden July 1, 2016, 9:06 pm

    Well put, Joseph!

    Reply
  • Eric Lyon July 2, 2016, 10:58 am

    I had one a few weeks ago that started with “This is not spam” and by the time I was on the second sentence they were already pitching me to buy a domain drop software to help my business. Trying to be helpful I replied to the email explaining how it actually was spam and linked them to the Federal Can-Spam act page.

    Not that I expected anything less, but they replied within a few hours explaining that I was mistaken and that it is not spam because it was something a domain investor needs. Because they were trying to genuinely help me, it no longer qualifies as spam.

    Obviously, I didn’t reply again, but it was still funny. 😉

    Reply
  • Edward Zeiden July 2, 2016, 3:35 pm

    Haha, great one, Eric. I’ve definitely received one of those before. I’m never brave enough to respond to spam mail in fear of opening the floodgates for more. I have reduced it largely in part thanks to Abine’s blur service that creates randomly generated email addresses.

    Reply

Leave a Comment